


oh that's hot

by creatures_of_discomfort



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Burns, Dirty Talk, Dom!John, Earth, Feet, Lemon, Other, Pain Kink, Piss, Shameless Smut, Size Kink, Smut, Spanking, Temperature Play, Volcanoes, excessive cum, giant!john, how the continents seperated, sub!earth, tectonic plates, thicc boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 21:33:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatures_of_discomfort/pseuds/creatures_of_discomfort
Summary: John gets off, the Earth breaks. Have fun, kiddos.





	oh that's hot

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joke that i thought of during world geography teacher after my teacher called the volcano an orifice. Thank Mr. Lampert for this wonderful work of fiction, you filthy sinners.

Meet John Egbert, one of the only beings living on Pangaea, was bored. Extremely so- his large body laying between two hills, his barely covered body soft and pudgy as the warm sun tanned his mocha skin, bright blue eyes staring up at the clouds above him. His black hair was soaked, as was most of his body-having just got from his dip, in the deepest depths of the ocean. His plump bottom lip was being bit, under his large buck teeth- one tooth easily being as big as a modern day car. His feet the size of a bus or three hands just the same. His skin was soft, but thick, and he was as tall as two football fields, put together, were long. And his dick, his plump nipples, his wonderful, fuckable man-boobs? Humongous. If I were to even try to explain the girth, the /length/ of this young, still growing giant's dick, you'd cry.   
Not that he'd ever dream of fucking any of you, anyways. No, he was only into one being- the very earth he stood upon. The earth that have him water, a place to sleep, rest. And the earth had so many amazing places for him to stick things into- just like his nice, big penis. It hung down to his knees, if that gave you a clue at all- pinned between his thick, plump thighs, his balls pressing down against the earth. He wasn't really thinking as he just laid his large hands over his breasts- barely a-cups, really, maybe b. He was bored, so he decided to fill his mind, he started to toy with his nipple head, his areola- running his dirty thumbs over the ripples, before he pinched down, harshly gasping before he reached a hand down to play with himself. His girthy, humongous cock already dropping with pre- each drop easily making a large puddle. The grass eagerly drinking it up, before John was staggering to his feet with heavy footfalls- he had seen one of the Earth's delicious orafices on his way back from the ocean, a smaller one too- perfect to push his peepee in. So when he saw it, he was giving a bucktoothed grin, punching at the air with an excited,  
"Heeeell yeah!!" Before he was quickly jogging over and pushing over the trees around it, the sound of snapping heard. He was quickly kneeling over it, rubbing his hands excitedly before he was taking the volcano by the neck- mounting the slutty earth hole, gaping and already full of a hot, thick liquid - it was glowing, steaming. He was now taking one hand to guide it to the hole and then dropped all of his weight, thrusting all of those many, many feet and meters of dick he had into that poor hole, his tip quickly dipping into the lava. And god, did it hurt - making it feel that much better, his grip tightening before he was leaning over the small volcano, his face close to the ground as he was bucking and bouncing his hips down against the mouth of the Earth- hearing it groan and slosh, as such raw strength and power shook the huge continent of Pangaea, hissing through his loud moans,  
"Y-You...you fuckin slut!! Opening up just for me, my giant cock.. nnghh..!~ you feel so /good/, your tectonic plates grinding against each other...!!~ You're a godamn slut, aren't you, Earth?? Mmn, yeah - quake for me, bITCH!!!~" He felt the ground rumbling beneath him as his thrusts got more and more frenzied, the burns covering his dick and the tight entrance more than enough to bring him closer and closer to a release- the sky rumbling before he was pissing inside of the slutty volcano mouth belonging to the Earth- the heat rising as John's yellow piss spilled into the orafice. After the strong stream of pee finally trickled to a stop, he was panting- still blindly bucking before he soon after came, the mix of piss, cum, and lava spilling out and burning his thighs, coating them in all it's glory. John now almost petting the earth before he gave a few more sloppy thrusts before pulling out, spanking the earth a bit as the quakes and tremors got worse- and he was hearing some loud cracking.  
Oh no.


End file.
